Friday, September 21, 2012

good v bad

There are a great many really wonderful and good people who find these virtual worlds.

I have had the pleasure, and honor, to meet so very many of them. And I do cherish this.

Some I have taken to my heart and remember them fondly. Some have joined me as I explore this journey, some moved on to other things, some have left playing in these vws, and some I have lost.

The ones that have joined me, are, of course, the most precious, because, obviously, they feel something -for- me that does make me feel good. I am not sure what this is, but some have told me they appreciate my honest frankness. This I can understand, as I also feel this way about myself. Brutal honesty is not for everyone, but it suits my character. And when something is basic to who you are, and it is basically a good thing, people do see it and gravitate towards it.

Others feel otherwise about why they like me, and have chosen to stay within my close circle of most cherished friends. One whom i cherish the most, says a -black cloud- follows me. I don't really understand this fully, as in my real life I am nothing at all...and I am just a very simple woman who enjoys very simple things in life. Strife, greed, hubris, ego...these things hold absolutely no interest for me.

But I do know those things drive many people to do things that I think are very wrong.

The ones that have moved on I do appreciate. They stayed for a time in my life, they added to it, they gave something of themselves. I do remember them. I believe that ALL people can add something positive to our lives, if we only can see it clearly...even the negative --what I call bad -- people add something. They teach us lessons in life, sometimes, if not most times, good ones needed to survive.

When someone comes into, and out, of our lives...this is ok, because if we cherished our times with them, then we are happy for what they brought to our lives, and we are happy for them to have found something to do that which they enjoy...we hope.

Some have left playing this game of virtual worlds. In some ways I envy them. Because they have re-found something --real-- to do with themselves...I hope. I had a partner in sl and inwz that is one like this. Teejoo is a Dutchman who found a girlfriend to enjoy his life with. I am so happy for this, for him, but at the same time I am envious of his g/f. But that is a small thing. I met Tee in secondlife. I was just wondering around,  dancing and trying to understand this new thing to me. We started spending time together, he didn't push me to have pixel sex & we just, heck, found each other, for a time.

I had been ill for sometime, and he didn't take advantage of my weaknesses...he --added-- to my time, which I did appreciate as being the character of the man he is. I do miss him tho as he was the only person I could say anything to, and he would listen, and he would talk to me, and calm me. And as I can be a spitfire at times, he was my calming force.

Others have come and gone...so many wonderful and unique people I just can't count them all. And some just --disappear-- and that's ok also. I hope they have found something in life that gives them happiness, I really do.

Those I have lost disturb me most greatly tho. It bothers me on several layers. Tho I am not so naive that I still believe we can be all, to all people, I do miss some of those people. The old saying that we can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time..is one I use.

I had a --boss/friend-- in a grid whom I had grown to admire over time, whom I had thought we had an understanding of some sort...we used to talk, share, discuss...I miss that very much as I had really liked her. But this touches on the bad -- to come next in this missive. I miss some others also whom I had considered friends...it saddens me.

The bad people tho...as in real life...they can be so very hurtful. And as in real life, they fool good people who cannot see clearly. I do not blame the good people at all, because good people WANT to see the good in everyone.

And of course there are many people who just don't care..and the many people who just will not look any further than their own noses. I don't fault any of them for these things at all. Sometimes I even wish I was not so inquisitive..life would be so much simpler if I wasn't. But I am not, and I accepted this in me many years ago.

The anonymity of the internet is a part of the problem...because those who can be bad, will be bad...behind the masks...and in virtual worlds the possibility to bring out the bad in people is even more tempting.

However, this is why I most enjoy virtual worlds, because if one can be bad, and easily, and chooses not to, isn't  that such a wonderful thing to behold?

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