Thursday, January 17, 2013

If I were a boy...

I have been watching this video over and over again lately and it got me to thinking a bit.

As this pertains to virtual worlds, people are able to get somewhat of a better idea of what it would be like to be the opposite gender. They can create either a male or female avatar, and since perception is 9/10ths of how one is treated in life, depending upon how well they can interact, they can be perceived as the opposite gender, and get somewhat of a feel for how it is.

Of course, people do this in real life as well. But it is often less than perfect; there are only so many things one can change. Biology rules and tho there are medical procedures to change some things externally, it is, really, imperfect.  And how one thinks, and perceives things, is intrinsically either male or female.

Now, I do have some clues to all the ‘gender issues’ things. I used to hang out with a lot of gay people in rl, old-timers would call me a fag-hag, a phrase that I think is no longer considered politically correct. Not one to be politically correct at all, the phrase still is appropriate to describe me as I used to be. A fag hag is a straight woman who likes to hang out with gay people, which I did.

My boyfriend at the time hung out with me also, with them, and we had a lot of fun and laughs. Gay ppl are, many anyways, full of fun and laughter. Yes, a lot of them have -issues- also, and serious sides, just like the rest of the world, but for the most part they are fun. And their clubs are some of the best places to get good music as many ppl know.

I no longer go out to any clubs, of any kind, but I do remember those times well. I met some interesting ppl. One of the sub groups [of which there are many] of the ‘gay’ life, is those who call themselves transgendered. That group also includes many subgroups. In vws I have met, and it is a fairly common practice, several ppl who are male but present themselves as female avatars. I have met a few who are the opposite. Some are even very good at it. Some state in their profiles what gender they are in real life, some do not. Some only tell a few people and I am sure some do not tell anybody.
                          In vws, we can be most anything.
However, the song got me thinking. It seems to me that, aside from some physical issues that can be changed, and many that cannot be changed, that men and women are simply so intrinsically different there is no way to actually -be- the opposite gender. Yes, I know that there would be ppl who will argue this, but I simply cannot see it as possible. We are, in the most basic human sense, products of our biological nature.

If I were a boy… how could I possibly even imagine how that would feel? But never mind that if I were a boy I would probably shoot myself-)) lol

And yes, I am aware of the chromosome issues and other medical issues that happen in the full spectrum of biology that is the human condition…in other words, I am aware this is by no means a black and white issue.

I do not mean this as a comment on me feeling that being a man is a bad thing. I love men, I love men to be men. And as women know well, men have many issues. It is finding that special man that is actually one of the most cherished things we search for all our lives. So, of course, I could never really –hate- men, tho I do enjoy disparaging them, on occasion…hehe

I think men are wonderful creatures that God made. I think men, should be men, the gift of them to women is wonderful. However, our genders are just so different, we look at things so differently, the war of the roses is one of continual strife. A man who is comfortable with himself, is one who is kind, who is sweet, who -knows- that one of his purposes in the entire scheme of things is to be protective of women. He is a true treasure, a gentleman, chivalrous, honest and with bright eyes.

Unfortunately [or maybe, fortunately], being human as we all are, there are as many ways of seeing things and perceptions of how to do things as there are individuals. One can in fact paint broad brushes upon genders and say women are nurturers, or men are warriors. That women can be bitches, and men bastards…hehe.  And in many cases, and from a biological standpoint, this is true. We nurture due to the very real fact that we, alone, bear children. Men, and I do not wish to come across as saying their contributions are not important at all, simply ‘contribute’ to the process of childbearing. A very important contribution, but NOT knowing the wonder of having a baby grow inside or bearing that child. A standing outside looking in kind of thing. Of course, obviously, some men are very sensitive to this and very loving in this regard too.

If I was a boy…I would like to think I would be caring, sensitive, but also strong when needed. One of the most wonderful things to behold is a man like that. They are very hard to find [and mostly taken when you get to my age]. In any case, none of this is meant to be an attack on anything or how anybody else perceives things. Nor is it meant to be provocative. I am pretty much a live and let live woman; as long as a person does not cause me problems in my real life, think whatever you wish-))

I do love the song tho, mainly Reba’s voice, wow, she is simply…amazing!! And this is just a blog, nothing more… 

I do not think I would make a very good boy...If I were a boy-))


  1. this is really just a blog for that song by Reba-))

  2. i think if you were a boy, you'd be a wonderful person - you have a great heart so why wouldn't you be?

    i had an ex-Steelers lineman who enjoyed being a pregnant female in SL. he'd be a horse, lion, seahorse, even a dragon - all of them pregnant

    one day he confided in me and confessed to being a dude irl - my response was "and . . . ?" because i had already judged him as being a caring person, regardless of what might be below the waist

    he went on to meet a real girl inSL who later met in rl and have now been married for 5 years

    so many wondrous things can happen if we see the world through open-hearted eyes. well, imo anyway =)

  3. awww...ty Ener-)) that is really very sweet of you [and I didn't even pay you!!] I agree that it doesn't matter...I have several friends who play both genders in virtuals and I am happy they are happy-))

  4. A very interesting post :)

    While I obviously will have some differences of opinion on what one can "be" - as I firmly believe that I am the gender I feel to be whenever that changes... at least on the inside, I definitely see there are some differences (apart form the obvious). For some bi-gender persons, and I suspect many male-to-female transgender persons the fact that we would never be able to bear children is a constant "smack in the face" which can cause some very severe dysphoria. I suspect most cis-gender women would be quite stunned to think of someone actually wishing they they menstruated! It is however true, these biological things are immutable barriers from becoming what we are inside. For me of course being bi-gender its not as simple as my internal gender changes all the time. I think this is why there is (for me and many others) a difference of meaning between the words gender and sex.

    Anyway, I don't want to clog your blog up with my thoughts, but I did enjoy reading this. I find it fascinating to read other peoples thoughts on issues I feel strongly about :)

  5. actually, I was referring to this new post -))

    But this one is fine to, and Welcome-))

    As you noted, I did mention there is much more to the issues than I cared to touch on in this little blog. And I am not qualified, anyways.

    Mainly I just like the song and it spurred me to write the blog on a lark, really.

    I do understand it is, however, very important to those such as yourself, as I have known some in real and talked to them-))

    Say what you wish, as you wish, in my comments-))

  6. Nice version, tho Reba's is so much better, to