Tuesday, October 1, 2013

fetal curling...

In watching my latest rants, blogs, and comments around places, I have come to the conclusion that I will be reducing much of what I do with virtual worlds.

I have never been one to think I am important in any regard and I have never been one to pontificate on and on about stuff. I also do not like to bring people down by discussing real life issues…and I am thinking all this has drawn me into doing that which is not really me.

I feel like curling up into a tight ball and pulling the sheets over my head and releasing my mind from the turmoil.

The net does have its appeal in many regards and there is so much one can do and spend all day doing it. It is very easy to get drawn into other people’s issues of the moment.

But every time one does this it then means even more of it, more of someone else’s drama, more of someone else’s issues, more of someone else’s problems, more of someone else’s “fad of the moment”, more, more, more.

I think if I had found this virtual reality opensim stuff 20 years ago I may have made a nice niche with it for myself, when I had the energy for such things. I may have had a real voice in shaping it towards what I think it should be, but that I think it is not going to be, now.

And perhaps my perceptions are also wrong.

To many people, who have loud voices, and the time and energy to espouse their viewpoints, forcing others to oblige them, run the main show. There are too few people in all this so it is very easy to be a big fish in a small pond.

There are some wonderful people, doing wonderful things with all this, but the commercial interests are holding sway, I think, for now. I keep coming back to thinking, more and more, that I should move on and check back in, in a few years.

And, from experience of many years on the net I know the whole current tapestry will be different then…most of the current people involved in it will have moved on, and new people will be running things…because, the fact is it will be pretty much totally different by then.

When I was younger, doing such a thing as moving on to something else was easier, I had time…at least I perceived I did…but this is no longer an option…time is no longer on my side and thinking I can leave and check back in later is not being realistic. I no longer feel the invincibility of youth, reality has changed this perception.

So I am going to curl up in the fetal position, pull the soft blanket tightly over my body, let my mind wander, float in the ambient fluids, read, and do much less commenting. It is time for me to make some decisions.