Tuesday, October 1, 2013

fetal curling...

In watching my latest rants, blogs, and comments around places, I have come to the conclusion that I will be reducing much of what I do with virtual worlds.

I have never been one to think I am important in any regard and I have never been one to pontificate on and on about stuff. I also do not like to bring people down by discussing real life issues…and I am thinking all this has drawn me into doing that which is not really me.

I feel like curling up into a tight ball and pulling the sheets over my head and releasing my mind from the turmoil.

The net does have its appeal in many regards and there is so much one can do and spend all day doing it. It is very easy to get drawn into other people’s issues of the moment.

But every time one does this it then means even more of it, more of someone else’s drama, more of someone else’s issues, more of someone else’s problems, more of someone else’s “fad of the moment”, more, more, more.

I think if I had found this virtual reality opensim stuff 20 years ago I may have made a nice niche with it for myself, when I had the energy for such things. I may have had a real voice in shaping it towards what I think it should be, but that I think it is not going to be, now.

And perhaps my perceptions are also wrong.

To many people, who have loud voices, and the time and energy to espouse their viewpoints, forcing others to oblige them, run the main show. There are too few people in all this so it is very easy to be a big fish in a small pond.

There are some wonderful people, doing wonderful things with all this, but the commercial interests are holding sway, I think, for now. I keep coming back to thinking, more and more, that I should move on and check back in, in a few years.

And, from experience of many years on the net I know the whole current tapestry will be different then…most of the current people involved in it will have moved on, and new people will be running things…because, the fact is it will be pretty much totally different by then.

When I was younger, doing such a thing as moving on to something else was easier, I had time…at least I perceived I did…but this is no longer an option…time is no longer on my side and thinking I can leave and check back in later is not being realistic. I no longer feel the invincibility of youth, reality has changed this perception.

So I am going to curl up in the fetal position, pull the soft blanket tightly over my body, let my mind wander, float in the ambient fluids, read, and do much less commenting. It is time for me to make some decisions.


  1. I've read this post and the previous one as well. I'm not going to
    comment in depth right now, but I did want to acknowledge your thoughts and thank
    you for sharing your ideas and opinions. I'm having my own issues with
    OpenSim, its community and its future as well - though perhaps not from
    the same perspective. I do share some of your sentiments though.

    However you choose to deal with (or not deal with) the situations and individuals taking away from your sense of peace and enjoyment, know that you effected many of us in a positive way and will always have a place in our thoughts.

    Be well Miney :)

  2. ty Chibo-)) you have always been so nice. It is not my intention to leave altogether at all. Nor will I ever do as some do and scream and shout as I go...that is not my way at all.

    And nothing anyone has said or done dictates what I do...in other words, none of the negative stuff is the primary reason for sitting back. All that stuff has been settled to my satisfaction.

    My preference is to sit back, remove some things as I have already done, and let it digest in my mind.

    Already several things have quieted down for me and I like it a lot. Some obligations I have still need to be done and I will be more and more free to relax. The summer heat is nearing an end also and I want to go outside more again and enjoy that. I live on 5 acres of wooded lands and I have been keeping inside to much for to long.

    Also, I see my profile photo on your comment, must be something in Disqus I need to look into some fine day...lol

  3. I do apologize that things have not been going very well for you, and I understand how overwhelming things can get in all the bickering developers and companies do. I have been a victim of it myself, and it is not fun. I have many times myself considered just quiting, but I cannot do that as I have made a career choice and I have to stick to it.

    I do hope things get better for you, and whatever you decide to do I support it. I know that Linda left because she was loosing control of how people were reacting and it was starting, and she realized that opensim was just too much for her. Now she is spending time with her family, and feels much less drama and been doing better. So whatever you feel is best for you, and not the people around you, is what you should do. I wish you tons of luck in whatever path you choose.

  4. thx Tim-)) Each morning I look at things with a critical eye towards my main goal of reducing things I am doing with all this. I will eventually get it down to something I am more comfortable with.

    At this time I do not wish to leave completely, however, some of the things I am reducing will make that decision, if it comes, easier to do. It is so easy to get involved with so much in all this and harder to extricate oneself from it.

    I also do not wish to hurt anyone's feelings while doing it.

    Mostly I have seen what I need to see in all this and the overall big picture, in several regards, do not impress me. However, some of it does, and those things are where I am working on focusing more on.

    Life changes and making decisions is what this is all about...hugsya!!

  5. and, btw, it makes me happy to hear Linda is doing ok...I do miss her and wish things had not gotten so bad for her in the end.

  6. OMG wouldn't you know it... my new computer arrives today and i'm fixin' on coming out of my fetal cocoon to fly into VW 's once again lol and games and movies and so on and so on *smiles* totally understand your 'younger' self being able to deal with the drama queens and fools attracted to these worlds ... tramping through your woods sounds like a wonderful thing to do especially in autumn season :) wish i could join you! love ya' heartsis Sun

  7. Sunnyone!!!!! so happy to hear your finally getting that computer!!! I am still around, for sure, but had to reduce a ton of stuff I used to do, and don't go inworld as much. I just needed to step back and bit and find a new balance based on my personal problems.

    Once you catch up with things g+ me or email me and we can talk more-)))))

  8. always do as you like - and that also means not letting the tyranny of shoulds run your life

    do good =)

  9. ty Ener-)) I trust you are well...and also, may I add, ty for fixing up the 7.6 soas...I got around to getting it this morning.