One can substitute the names I used here, of course, with their own favorites who they have met, who are similar...the names are really not important anyways, just my own personal ones used to do this little article.
[eta a few days after posting this: I removed the specific names as I hope the point was made to the specific person[s] and she/they will leave me alone, if not, heck, I can deal with that too, if I must.]
As I have commented on in various places, not much, but a few, I expect this year will end with quite a different tapestry, or quilt, or patchwork, if you wish, of both players, grids and tech, in the Metaverse.
When one prognosticates, it is always important to try and maintain some kind of perspective.
For example, being someone whom most would look down on as not knowing what I am talking about, merely because they can say they started in SL in xxx years, Anno Domini, I do try to keep the perspective of not having dealt with xxx drama, xxx stuff and nonsense, and xxx building of social contacts, that others who have been around xxx years have experienced.
I have always been of the opinion this is kinda strange thinking, as it discounts such things as years in real age and the experience that brings “some” of us, or the ability to connect dots that “some” of us have, or the intelligence to see through people more easily, that “some” of us have, etc, etc.
But then when you find out, or realize, that most of those kinds who place much value in the xxx years they have been playing this, have spent most if not all of their adult lives, in fact, playing this, then it becomes more clear where they are coming from.
When you realize that for some “being in business” really means they have knowledge and contacts derived from playing for so many years and that they simply have no basis in the reality of actually running a real business, dealing with people, face to face, and that it is all computer oriented, mostly using the written word, mostly in snippets of sentences, and mostly in a “perception is reality” type of thing…some things become more clear, to those who can see such things.
The net has always had its share, some may say, more than its share, of participants who have mental issues, of one sort or another. The ability to hide much of what we do from others, or even to promote ourselves as something which we are really not, is just too tempting to a type of human.
Which is fine, really, and most people do not use it in negative ways, or if they do, it usually does not affect others, especially in ways that can do any real harm…physically I mean.
However, it can take its toll on well-meaning people, who have feelings, who are merely trying to enjoy the net for the good things it offers.
Dealing with the commonly known term, trolls, is a never-ending tragedy on the net.
Some do this by becoming inured to it…they simply have reached a point where it rolls off their shoulders and they have no feelings on the matter, one way or another…which to my thinking, is very sad.
Some deal with it by kneejerk type reactions…when some troll or mentally challenged person “gets in their face” they respond in a like manner.
I think more people should sit back and try to keep perspective. I think more people should not respond in kneejerk ways, gather information as best they can on those who have issues, if desired, and try to keep a human perspective.
I know, I know, this is difficult to impossible to do sometimes, and it mostly becomes a study in wasting time and good energies…I know, I am doing it here.
The problem on the net is that those with mental issues of a certain type can play the system in all sorts of ways. They can use multiple anons or alts and make it seem you are getting overwhelmed with multiple people, or that it is simply best to “throw in the towel”, “raise your hands in surrender”, “let them win”.
And often, this is exactly what they accomplish, and for many reasons.
Most people just want to use the internet as a nice place to enjoy their various interests. So dealing with trolls and people with aggressive mental issues is something they just ignore. Some people are so simplistic in nature they cannot understand the complexities at play, they simply cannot wrap their minds around the fact, that despite all evidence to the contrary in reality, that some people on the net are “truly bad people”, and as “truly bad people” do, they do “bad things”.
So, what do you do?
I would say you do many things, and in many ways.
First I would say to try and consider more about a person than a singular issue. Keep in mind that most people, though not all, of course, are more complex than a singular issue or comment. You can almost always find that where you may disagree with one way they are doing something, or way they think on something, that you would agree on other things about them. So you could try to focus on those things you agree on.
Then there are those who you can try to ignore, with varying degrees of success. This would depend on how they are interacted with you.
If they are in some of the social circles you are also in, you can use whatever tools are available to mute them, or ignore them, or simply leave those social places.
If they control the social sites or places, you can leave those.
And within all that, you have several layers of choices.
You can also “fight back”. [fyi, I use quotes on this “fight” and “win” stuff, as I do not actually see it all in such ways, but I know most do, so I use it as a type of “everyman” commenting process, you see.]
When you decide to fight back, there are numerous ways you can do this also.You can insult them, you can comment to them by using proxies in various ways, you can throw out MacGuffins or use a bit of sophistry, or, you can use multiple ways of attacking back.
You can use writing skills in several ways…purposefully mess with words using them incorrectly or using slang…or slam them using words that you know they cannot fully comprehend, in other words, realize at their core being, they are disturbed, and often lonely people who are often not very literate, they are not especially smart, are often people who have no control of their own lives, and feel that trolling gives them some…or, as the rest of my missive is about, they are being used by those who are truly “bad people”.
Now, granted, to call anyone on the net who is a troll or who uses such types to their own purposes, “bad people” is kinda disingenuous, really…they usually cannot really affect you all that much, they just think they can…it is all a built up illusion in their own minds that they can affect you at all, and you only give them such “power” by letting them get under your skin. Though, sometimes, even letting them think they have gotten under your skin, can be useful.
You should always keep these things in mind, and once those types become clear to you, use this to your own advantage[s]. You do not need to lower yourself, most of the time, to their level in responding, and, in fact, when you keep in mind that most people either could care less, or that they are smarter than the troll, and can see right through them, then you can usually keep the high road, most of the time.
Occasionally some will rear their ugly heads and focus on you in a manner that is more like harassment or cyber stalking.
So how do you deal with such people?
Well, the choice is yours, of course, but let me suggest some ideas. You can do as I posit above in several regards. You can inform the proper authorities as in many countries this is illegal. You can file complaints with various authorities.
You can fight back, and in several ways…it all depends on how acute the issue is, how much you wish to invest in the matter, in both time and energies, and how much they are just bugging the shit outta you!! [hehehe].
I would suggest above all try to maintain some kind of balance, keep in mind you do have the high road, keep in mind that they are mentally sick, keep in mind that most people are nicer, and smarter, and can see what is going on, without you doing anything at all, it is obvious to the majority, even though it may not seem that way, as most keep quiet, as most do not wish to become a target themselves, and try to keep some humor about it.
In my time on the net, and I refer to much more than the short few years I have been involved with this current virtual reality stuff, but with past bulletin board services, newsgroups, various social sites and such things, there have always been those few people who cause strife for the rest of us.
What we all have to do is find ways to deal with them that work for us, individually, and to keep an evolving kinda mentality on it, flow with the changes, and keep in touch with those who are like-minded and you do enjoy talking to.
I used to be heavily involved with the inworldz grid. I didn't know any better; I thought that after SecondLife it was a nice country style place to be involved with. I did not fully understand, and in retrospect, I should have, that it was simply just another social place just like any others I have been involved in…where you have entrenched players who are invested in maintaining their own versions of the status quo, you have those “in charge” who also wish to maintain their realities, whatever they may be, you have those who play the system, you have brown-nosers and those who will curry favor for all sorts of, mostly, inconsequential of things...all of which you find in any social circles, anyplace.
And just as in other ones, if you go against the grain in any regard, you will find yourself ending up kinda like “hitting your head against a brick wall”...which hurts...don't do it!!!
I have always been one who goes for the underdogs…if some group of people or some person seems to me to be getting some grief, my heart goes out to them. Perhaps it is some deep ingrained nurturing aspect that I have, but then perhaps it is just who I am, simple as that. But when I see minorities treated badly, I often will do what I can to help. Often this means simply my behind the scenes support, or a hug...but sometimes it seems being publicly against such things is needed. And being someone who is not completely clueless...I know this means I will get focused on as with the person or group I have publicly defended, it would be very stupid of me to think otherwise.
This happened most noticeably with my support of an issue with OSgrid back in early 2013. I had no real stake in the matter at all, I had barely made an account there, and had only just started to understand the hypergated free Metaverse. I had made an account there, as I had in many grids, while finding where I needed for my own needs...but I landed smack dab in a management change there, which had prompted all sorts of drama, led mostly by the new admin, a person named [blah blah a nobody], or [blah blah a nobody] [his most known avie name].
But, heck, I didn't really care what his problems are, I didn't know him and I didn't know any of the people involved...BUT, I do know injustices when I see them, and I do know when minorities are being drowned out by those with bigger mouths and more control over the tools for disseminating disinformation, and I do know what is wrong.
So I supported the obvious underdogs. Why would I? because that is simply who I am, accepted decades ago about myself. It got my own osgrid account access terminated, and with no reasons, just as with some of those I supported morally, in the matter. Did I care, nope…I did then, as I am discussing here, the right thing, and I have the moral justification, it was right, and I accepted the consequences….just as I would have done if I was a German when seeing how the Jews were treated so horribly [yes, I know, that is not a nice analogy, but it fits] [and, yea, I know it would have been much different as I would likely have been killed for doing so].
I did not expect those who were actually hurt in the matter to then come to my own aid, I do not expect them to come to my aid now, nope…I expected nothing in return but to be likewise lumped in with the mistreated and this was ok.
So with the inworldz grid, through much conversations and observations, I came to realize that one of the owners, by the name of [blah blah a nobody] whose owner avie name is [blah blah a nobody], had serious control issues of such a mental disability that she uses it to force her views on other simpler minded people. This type of control freak can be very bad on the internet, they know how to play the systems, they know that there are those people who want to see the good in all others, and they play on that, and they know that there are weak minded people who can very easily be manipulated, and they know how to get people around them who will do the same things…thus this compounds the problems out of proportion to reality.
But I didn't really care until, as is normal with people, it affected others I liked. Once I saw how she removed account access from a friend, for no reason whatsoever than that she thought it best so she could maintain her version of reality, once I saw she had no compunction in changing a friend’s profile and in threatening people in various ways, once I saw how she would go to any lengths to hide her issues with lies, and once I listened to her go on and on, insanely, to me personally, it was clear it was time for me to remove myself from that which she controlled.
Now, how to go about this is the question. As I noted above, there are all sorts of ways decent and intelligent but compassionate people can deal with problems. I wanted to strike back at the ignorance I was seeing displayed, my friends were genuinely being hurt emotionally, they were crying on my shoulders, I was upset…and one thing I have never been is a wallflower...when something bothers me enough, I will use my command of words to show those types just what I think.
So I went on a campaign of doing group notices in the grid knowing full well that those whom I knew had mental issues would see them for what they were, insults directed at them, and those who just wanted to have a nice time, would find them amusing. This was a studied and considered attack on not only [blah blah a nobody] but on those people whom I had identified as having aggressive mental issues that hurt good people.
And, it worked…and, of course, it got those people to take action as I knew it would…which eventually resulted in [blah blah a nobody] removing my main avatar account access, which I fully expected. Yes, I was upset, but, yes, I was already upset. You see, as I say, there are many ways to handle unpleasant matters, and when you do not have the controls at hand, ultimately, then when you understand this, you use what you have. Most women understand this well. I knew that [blah blah a nobody] was unbalanced, I knew that she had a core group equally if not more unbalanced, I knew she manipulated people using their own selfish interests as leverage, and I knew she manipulated others who simply were too stupid to realize it was happening…and I knew that when I stood up against it, I would “lose”….however...you see…I did not “lose” at all…I had no longer been interested in helping or being a contributing member, in any regards, to that grid anyway.
I saw it was a losing situation in that when I identified the problem, it was obvious to me that participating there would be a waste of time. It was obvious that if someone like my friends, who gave much time and effort to that grid, could be treated so callously, then so could anyone...to think I was immune would be utter stupidity. And I know, above all, that those kinds of people will always, always, get what they deserve, even if I did nothing at all.
Unless one has their head in the sand, it is obvious that anyone who takes a moral stand will always then have to accept that the immoral people will come out in all sorts of ways to oppose them. And as I noted in my blog about that grid, they have…and they keep doing so…and they will not stop.
This is ok though. I then had someone by some avatar names of [blah blah a nobody] who pushed himself on me. [blah blah a nobody] is one of those who feels fully confident that he is too smart to get played, because, after all, it is him who plays others, so how could he? [so I imagine he might say to himself as this is what he does]. But [blah blah a nobody] is really a simpleton, the type, often a man, who is easily manipulated simply because they are so easy to manipulate…and those who do such things, find it irresistible to do so.
Similarly, I have had to deal with others from that grid, those who are either complicit in their attempts to cover up their wrongdoings, or are themselves actors in the matter, or whom are also manipulated by the very fact of their thinking they are too smart to be so.
I have had other minor players bother me, obviously of the sort who are completely manipulated and who will say anything at all, for no reason other than that they think they are in the right, and for no reason other than such simple things as they think they have some friends in that grid…not knowing their so-called friends are merely using them for their own twisted amusement, and for no reason but that their own perceptions of reality are obviously very limited.
This brings me to the muse for which this blog page was decided.
Recently, but only the latest, and certainly not the last, a person by the known name of [blah blah a nobody], but who also at least once used a male avie by the name of [blah blah a nobody], has decided to cyberstalk me.
I don't care if this person is male of female or something else entirely, and I don't care if she does not like me...I have never been one to think I can please everyone…and I don't care if she shows how shallow she is, with no moral fiber at all, and likes the inwz grid simply because she has some people there she thinks are her friends...none of that matters to me at all.
I already understood, in life, that my own values and morals are just that, my own...and I have never been one to feel it is right to attempt to force those on others, I am not qualified to do so, I do not think I am important enough, it is not my place, it would be rude.
But people such as [blah blah a nobody] think they do, even when it is obvious they have no real clues, that they are obviously simple minded, singular issue simplistic people, they think it is not only ok to be rude to others who disagree with them, but to do it publicly.
Even when I never had any issue with her personally, she feels that it is somehow her duty to be rude to me about some silly little grid I know more than her about is run very badly. Even when any sane person can understand that none of us knows everything, she has proceeded to say things that are not only not true, but that she has decided she is the focus of, which, really, is very, very weird.
That I realize she is being manipulated, that I realize she has some obvious mental issues, that I realize her cyberstalking of me is wrong...and nevermind that she went on a tangent not too long ago about someone she had befriended originally but who she was telling whomever she could her drama about how that person was stalking her….now she does it to me.
But, I gotta deal with the reality of it, I am a pragmatist…the question is always, how? I did as I do with most folks who obviously have mental issues, I muted her in places I can, I avoided her in places I can, I left places I know she is at, I ignored her rude comments to me, I made light of it as best I could.
Most of the time this works, they go away, or they drop it, or whatever. However, she has continued to stalk my every word or statements about inwz, which is more than others have done, and I finally had to come forward and be more aggressive about ending it, of which this blog is a part.
Don't misunderstand me, please, I see [blah blah a nobody] as just a continuing string of things and people I had to accept I would have to deal with due to my decision to publicly stand up against [blah blah a nobody] of inwz…those who would twist my words around to their own ends, espouse them as reality, those who would, for all sorts of selfish, simple minded, mentally unbalanced, manipulated, reasons, come forth.
I even mentioned that I knew such things would be my bane in the blog I did exposing some of the issues with inwz. I knew this, it is not rocket surgery [I also like to mix rocket science with brain surgery…lol…I know, I am obviously mentally unbalanced, but heck, it’s so much fun!!!]
It is my opinion this year is going to be very bad for decent people who dwell in the Metaverse. I think several of those will either leave completely, or crawl into some holes someplace and ignore it, hoping it will pass, at least, them by.
There is too much fodder for the sick people, too many little pieces of the pie, too long being used by too few, adding too many stressors, for too many.
So, now I draw a line in the sand...to all you wannabes, you users, you dictators, you trolls, you losers, to all of similar ilk....as I can do nothing but use words to counter your filth, as you have done, I will.....you will end up as all like you end up, over-medicated, in straight-jackets, lobotomized, having multiple electro-convulsive treatments, dribbling spittle down your chin, shot in the head by your own hand with your own gun deep in a bunker, surrounded by any sycophants and losers who are still stupid enough to believe your nonsense....or something similar...lol
You can change this... but... can you?
So, here is a really good idea, that such as yourselves will likely not comprehend. You do what you want to do, I will do what I want to do, we will both be happy in our own reality, and never the twain shall meet. http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/255800.html
Anywho, this is just a blog, a weblog, of my opinion on a matter, move along, it is not important.
“Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.” --Nora Ephron
“Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.” --John Lennon
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” --Albert Einstein